Winter blahs begin to set in and then BOOM, in the middle of February comes Valentines Day when for one day, people send cards, flowers, and chocolates to show their romantic love for each other. During one time in my life, I too received flowers on that day from my husband whose family owned a florist shop and greenhouse. I never really cared for roses so he always gave me the first cutting of freesias, a delicate white flower with a potent sweet fragrance which usually bloomed on or near Valentine’s Day, and I loved them. It was a few years after his death that I realized the flowers could mean more to me than just romantic love.
I was teaching at a middle school on Valentine’s Day when I received a bouquet of freesia with a note that read, “Thinking of you on this day.”
The flowers and note were from Bill, my husband’s mentor and surrogate father who missed my husband as much as my children and I. Although receiving the bouquet felt bittersweet and made me cry, I also felt loved. I felt the love of a man who deeply missed his son. And the older I became, the more I noticed and appreciated random acts of love.
When my son Bobby was in middle school, he tried out for basketball in 7th grade. When I picked him up after cuts, he started crying as soon as he got in the car. I told him it was okay that he didn’t make it, he could try again next year. He said, “Mom, I did make the team but another boy who practiced all summer who wanted to play more than anyone was cut and he is crying behind the lockers. I wish he would have made it instead.”
Even today as I think about that moment, my heart fills with joy knowing my son had compassion and love for a boy he barely knew.
And then about six years ago, my sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer which did not have a good prognosis. Fortunately, a cancer center in Indianapolis offered the best and newest treatment options but the center is located in the heart of Indy. My daughter Chrissy and her family, who live 45 minutes from downtown Indy, told my sister to come live with them. For almost a year, she lived with them as they drove her to sometimes daily treatments for chemo, radiation, and immunotherapy. She is a survivor and couldn’t have done it without the love of family.
But it doesn’t stop there. My eldest daughter Katie is a lover of all things. She is a people lover who takes people into her home or cooks for those who are sick. She is an animal lover who laid in the barn with a blanket and bottle to comfort her goat as she lay dying. She has a heart for caring.
Finally, there is the youngest, Joey, who all the older kids like to pick on, but he is just like them. When he became a fraternity president, he called to tell me he had increased the membership threefold. He was accountable for bringing in a number of new members on his own; however, each one had to have a big brother, and they all wanted him. I asked who he chose. He said, “Mom, I chose a guy who has turret syndrome because I knew the other guys probably wouldn’t choose him.”
At that moment, my son could have said, “And, by the way, I am failing all of my classes” and I still would have loved him more because he got it. He knew everyone needs to feel part of something. He was inclusive.
At CORE we are inclusive. We accept individuals with disabilities so they can become part of a community. We partner with companies in our community who know the value individuals with disabilities can bring to their staff. At CORE, we can imagine a world where everyone feels loved everyday regardless of their disability.
We wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day but also a year filled with love and acceptance.
